The Sensuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be great too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to exceptionally difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close visit site to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, love, find more and nearness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that numerous of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urban areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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